eating cereal and thinking about neediness

you know when you come to that point where you're just lost? even just over something small, but eventually, i think we as people hit that spot where we're just like "hey, i'm human, i can't do this" or "i'm at a loss for what to do next". on our own, at least, we're all going to hit this point, i am sure of that. i've been hitting this point so much recently, i'm needy. i'm a human being. God created us with a need for Him. i toss scenarios around in my mind, replaying conversations and situations where i could've done something better of different, but it comes down to the fact that what happened, happened. worrying won't change a thing. God has a plan. i think sometimes i focus so hard on DOING the right thing, quiet time every morning, reacting correctly to certain situation, etc., that i forget that God is in control, not me. He supplies for our neediness.

Shoutout to all my girls! I'm sitting in the dressing room, trying on a superr cute dress. I've been trying all different poses and no matter what I do, the dress just doesn't look good. Its just not flattering, simple as that. and for us girls, I know that the dressing room can often be the worst place EVER. My prayer for all of us, ladies, is that we'd see our true beauty in Christ. So next time you don't like how you look in something, scream at yourself in the mirror "Jesus thinks i'm beautiful! Take that!" cuz its more than true. :)

why are we christians anyways?

so yesterday at church, our pastor basically spoke on what Jesus did at the cross. he talked about that and everything that it entails. it was an awesome sermon and really got me thinking. but then, to finish it before communion, he showed a clip from the Passion of the Christ. I have never watched that movie, but let me tell you that no words can express what i felt and realized when i watched that. like.....ask yourself the question that i asked as the title of this post. why are we? now i could come up with a bunch of stuff. i could say because there's good morals. i could say because i love worship. i could list a long list. but when it comes down to it, its what He did on the cross. He didn't just suffer, he took on every amount of suffering anyone in the world had ever suffered or will ever suffer. ALL OF IT. the deepest pain you've ever felt? nothing in comparison. can you remember the last time you thought you might die? that it a paper cut compared to Jesus' sufferings. HE DESERVES EVERYTHING WE HAVE. EVERYTHING. i know i will never be good enough or give Jesus enough, but i want to. i want to give Him all. i think as Christians we get caught up in the motions, the music, the books, church, youth group, etc., that we forget why the heck we even got ourselves into this whole thing.

silent week.

so yesterday began my week of no singing. i guess i've been straining my vocal chords, so my doctor said no singing for a week. i know it doesn't sound bad, but i think its gonna be a challenge. i sing like every second of my life. like, actually. it is the easiest way for me to express myself to others and to Jesus. but i am really excited because when i'm at church, or a concert i'll be at this weekend, and i can't worship with my voice, it will give me a chance to learn to worship more with other parts of me. it will give me a chance to learn what it means to worship God always with everything. i can dance and praise him, i can write and praise him, i can just sit and look at the stars and praise him. hallelujah. please pray for me if you're reading this. just say a quick prayer that i will praise in everything. and that i will never ever take my voice for granted. it is a gift and i am SO FREAKING BLESSED BY THE LORD to have it.

also, thanks for reading, if you are reading, and thanks for living, if you're alive : ). i pray that you will experience Gods love and peace and beauty and that he will explode his grace all over you.

God says "i'll change you"

i've thought a lot about sharing my insecurities and areas where i stuggle. and i've tossed it around and around in my mind. but i've come to the conclusion that if i don't tell people some of my struggles, growth may be harder to see, people won't have to oppourtunity to say "hey! i struggle with that too, man, i thought i was the only one!" and most of all, i wouldn't be opening up to Jesus to change me. i'm not saying i'm gonna spill my guts and post everything i struggle with, thats what a journal is for, thats why we pray, i'm just saying that maybe opening up about struggles is a really good thing.

anyways, what i've really been having a hard time with lately is comparing myself to others. as a girl, its sorta part of my makeup to see how i measure up to every other girl i see. it is one of the biggest things i hate about the female race!!!!!!!!!!!!! once i heard someone say that girls probably check out other girls more than guys do, just because they are examining eachother to see how they compare with each other. i believe it. it is a huge challenge. and i am blessed to have the Lord to tell me that i am His beautiful creation and that it doesn't matter what i look like the the worlds eyes. please pray for me that i would see that always. that is what i pray for all girls, that we'd just see our beauty. not because we're the tallest or skinniest, but because we have an identity in the Creator of the universe and He says we're beautiful.

He meets us.

simple as the title. He meets us. God meets us wherever we are. i don't really know what else there is to say. He just does. i'm reading David Crowder's book Praise Habit right now for the second time. pleaseeeee check it out if you haven't already. and if you want to feel inspired, plug your headphones in, click here and close your eyes.

the remedy

i am really sick and tired of the sickness that is being human. you know? like..we are just so concerned with ourselves. ie, i am sick of how concerned with myself and my life i am. i feel like its all i care about. how people see me, how people react to me, me me me. AH! i'm so done with it. sometimes i feel like it is just so hard to center yourself around Jesus..actually, i almost ALWAYS feel like it hard. thank goodness God loves cocky people like me. thank goodness we worship an amazing God. don't know what i would do if i didn't have the hope of him in my life. knowing that God can change me and turn my weaknesses into strengths is one of the best things ever. i love Him. Jesus is the remedy to our sickness, he can heal us so we can reach outside ourselves and help others, and love with his love.

click here to watch David Crowder*Band's song Remedy.

i am captivated by You

to listen to shawn mcdonalds song captivated click here! please do it! it doesn't need explanation. just close your eyes and listen, and you will understand why this song just fills me up.

art from jesus to us

this is a picture i took the other day at the beach. this is a picture of Gods creation. this is a picture of love.

Sometimes it may be something as small as choosing to rely on God instead of my own strength. Just that, for that moment. I think if we are hardcore and authentic about loving jesus, relying on his strength, and even messing up for him, its worth it. And when I say messing up for him, I mean, we're going to make mistakes, so lets get back up and learn in Christs name. I am praying that whoever is reading this will understand what i'm saying, and that as kids of Jesus, we can follow hard after him. Please pray for me in this area! [PART FOUR] yes, it was too long for my phone to send, so I had to divide it up :)..