God says "i'll change you"

i've thought a lot about sharing my insecurities and areas where i stuggle. and i've tossed it around and around in my mind. but i've come to the conclusion that if i don't tell people some of my struggles, growth may be harder to see, people won't have to oppourtunity to say "hey! i struggle with that too, man, i thought i was the only one!" and most of all, i wouldn't be opening up to Jesus to change me. i'm not saying i'm gonna spill my guts and post everything i struggle with, thats what a journal is for, thats why we pray, i'm just saying that maybe opening up about struggles is a really good thing.

anyways, what i've really been having a hard time with lately is comparing myself to others. as a girl, its sorta part of my makeup to see how i measure up to every other girl i see. it is one of the biggest things i hate about the female race!!!!!!!!!!!!! once i heard someone say that girls probably check out other girls more than guys do, just because they are examining eachother to see how they compare with each other. i believe it. it is a huge challenge. and i am blessed to have the Lord to tell me that i am His beautiful creation and that it doesn't matter what i look like the the worlds eyes. please pray for me that i would see that always. that is what i pray for all girls, that we'd just see our beauty. not because we're the tallest or skinniest, but because we have an identity in the Creator of the universe and He says we're beautiful.

He meets us.

simple as the title. He meets us. God meets us wherever we are. i don't really know what else there is to say. He just does. i'm reading David Crowder's book Praise Habit right now for the second time. pleaseeeee check it out if you haven't already. and if you want to feel inspired, plug your headphones in, click here and close your eyes.

the remedy

i am really sick and tired of the sickness that is being human. you know? like..we are just so concerned with ourselves. ie, i am sick of how concerned with myself and my life i am. i feel like its all i care about. how people see me, how people react to me, me me me. AH! i'm so done with it. sometimes i feel like it is just so hard to center yourself around Jesus..actually, i almost ALWAYS feel like it hard. thank goodness God loves cocky people like me. thank goodness we worship an amazing God. don't know what i would do if i didn't have the hope of him in my life. knowing that God can change me and turn my weaknesses into strengths is one of the best things ever. i love Him. Jesus is the remedy to our sickness, he can heal us so we can reach outside ourselves and help others, and love with his love.

click here to watch David Crowder*Band's song Remedy.

i am captivated by You

to listen to shawn mcdonalds song captivated click here! please do it! it doesn't need explanation. just close your eyes and listen, and you will understand why this song just fills me up.

art from jesus to us

this is a picture i took the other day at the beach. this is a picture of Gods creation. this is a picture of love.

Sometimes it may be something as small as choosing to rely on God instead of my own strength. Just that, for that moment. I think if we are hardcore and authentic about loving jesus, relying on his strength, and even messing up for him, its worth it. And when I say messing up for him, I mean, we're going to make mistakes, so lets get back up and learn in Christs name. I am praying that whoever is reading this will understand what i'm saying, and that as kids of Jesus, we can follow hard after him. Please pray for me in this area! [PART FOUR] yes, it was too long for my phone to send, so I had to divide it up :)..

BUT, I feel like, at least for myself, I get SO caught up in my appearance to others. If I don't have the security of being the christian girl everyone expects me to be, then my self esteem drops to zero. There is a certain safety in being something that people make you. In the stereotype that I am put into/put myself into, I don't like to make mistakes. I mean, who does? But, doing things "incorrectly" is one of my worst fears at times. To put it all together, if I am not going full out for the Lord, what is the point? Sometimes that may mean waking up in the morning and going to school, but if I am relying on Jesus and waking up and goin to school for him, then awesome! [PART THREE]

It got me to thinking, what the heck are we doing in this life if we are not authentic through Christ? If we are doing this whole christian thing for any other reason than to follow hard after God then why? And that doesn't mean I think we should be perfect at this, cuz thats not even possible. We're freekin human beings! We just can't master this. [PART TWO]

i was just reading shawn mcDonalds blog. (if you don't know who he is, he is a christian singer songwriter who has been through life, hardcore. he has probably been up and down and around and through every alley and back road and dirt path that there is in life.) and i don't say that because i know his whole story, although i do know a small piece. I say that because you can tell by his songs and the way he writes. he is one of the most authentic people I "know". [PART ONE]

i am sitting on the bus. my i pod is broken. and it is full of loud annoying kids. this is why it sucks to be a 15 year old sophomore. but God finds me (well, all of us) in the middle of life. he finds us when we are in deep pain, or when we are sitting on the bus wishing we could get our drivers license. since i have nothing to do besides read my devo, I opened it up and started reading. Long story short, it said to remember that God has planned out my whole day long before i've even woken up. Nothing i go through hasn't already sifted through Gods fingers. What an awesome reminder.